After spending two years without the I Internet, including the first without tv, it finally dawned on me that I was not going to bore the words out of me and admit defeat. Also, TPG offered (seemingly) cheap unlimited adsl.
some thoughts. First of all TPG has the customer service of a sadistic, rapist gorilla. I ended up having to get me own electrician to connect the lines. Then I had to stay on the help line for an hour, which yes is embarrassing for me as I like to think of myself as technically fluent. More embarrassingly the Mac, the iPad AND the pc all decided to install software updates so a lot of the hour was my fault, and full of awkward turtle silence where techie helper and I kept saying to each other, "umm are you there???"
I didn't get through much of my attempts at writing a series of exercises which resembled something of a very disorganised, self-indulgent memoir written by someone with ADHD and dyslexia. On the other hand I may enroll myself in a MA degree later this year (ha!) or at the very least stop watching Farmer Wants A Wife. (and get more interesting shows online. would I download a car? A handbag? Yes I would.)
Not having the internet has made me, hopefully, less I-want-it-all-and-I-want-it-now but it has also meant I have developed the neurotic habit of watching the news promptly just in case something happened 3 minutes ago, or collecting and reading junk mail because there is nothing else topical to read. woolies has a sale on white peaches and harvey Norman is such a rip off.
What I don't miss is being distracted. What am I saying i missed it like a smack addict. But I definitely don't miss looking around my room, realising it's 5 am and I'm tracing the Saxe-Coburg family tree whilst feeding virtual farm animals. Perhaps I should have pokie regulations put up. Have very bright lights, a clock that chimes out the hours, a meter telling me how many hours I have left from my pre-designated allocation and only a dial-up modem.
I missed being able to spam friends on facebook and other networking sites, regularly making fun of their latest photo. I admit it was a relief not to be subjected to so many "Anne likes the page: Sleeping!" followed by, "Anne likes the page: "Waking Up!" (I don't have an Anne but we all have friends who like absolutely everything, especially mundane involuntary human movements like sleeping, waking, breathing and pooping)
Despite the odd inconvenience (I had to BUY recipes, such a novel concept, what next, buy a CD?!) from whence I would drive the 5 minutes back to mummy's and scab some Internet, I can't say there was a time I felt it was life-threateningly vital. It could be a naive statement since the Internet has spread to the point that foraging camels in Uzbekistan are streaming Dexter, therefore like the vaccination movement I merely spent the last two years piggy-backing on others rather than a truly cold turkey casement of web activity. So I should qualify my claims to being able to live without the Internet PROVIDED someone within 3km radius has it.
I believe, and have believed the first time I used email in 1996, or the first time I wrote a website in 1998 or the first time I added a friend on FB in 2005, that the net has only begun, we have yet to comprehend or invent the things possible on it. It is the mathematical 4th dimension but we are still in the 14th century. It's an unpredictable and fun time. (don't be impressed by the website writing, back then there was no such thing as iWeb, everybody knew HTML and java script, everybody who was a reclusive teenager who disliked socialising that is. To drive the point how geeky I was, the website was about HOW to write java script. Later I made one about shakespeare's Julius Caesar. I'm THAT cool)
the years ahead look better online, I'm glad to be included again. Now watch as TPG fracks it up tomorrow.
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